The man said that his wife felt lonely and Teal asked his wife to join him on the stage.
I know it's my fault, the wife said. I'm trying to get used to being all right by myself.
I don't agree with that at all, Teal said. You will never feel all right without him, and the only time you will try to feel all right without him is when you feel hurt by his lack of presence.
Husbands, never stop pursuing your wives.
The audience applauded this.
No woman wants to ask a man for attention, Teal said, or stand between a man and what he wants. When a man wants a woman, he has this intense focus. He finds out everything about her and what she likes. The woman buys into that. That is what she agreed to when she agreed to marry you. But you're already onto the next thing, and now you're focusing on whatever creative pursuit you have. You don't have to be with her all the time. But put aside a time every day, even an hour, when you are fully focused on her.
The man took his wife's hand.
Men in the audience, Teal said, if you want to find the craziest, most off balance woman, just give her all your attention and take it away. If you want a woman who says you can do whatever you want, be truly intimate with her.
Intimacy. In to me see.
The closer you get to someone the more secure they are, and the more autonomy they can handle.
One of the final speakers was a masseur who wanted to be a father. But he wanted to do it the "messy" way, with a friend rather than with an unknown surrogate because he wanted his child to know its mother.
How many people here had a mother who was a nightmare, Teal asked the audience.
About three quarters of the audience raised their hands. I looked at my daughter beside me, and thankfully she wasn't among them.
You don't come to a workshop like this unless you have suffered trauma. How many are here to heal from the damage their mothers did?
Again about three quarters of the audience raised their hands. I started to feel very uncomfortable.
The masseur had a pain in his hand, and he asked Teal to look at it. She held his hand, and I hoped that I might see evidence of her healing powers in action. She told him the problem was in his elbow and that an acupuncturist could easily resolve the issue. She also told him that he didn't like being a masseur, although he claimed that he loved it. Teal led the main through a guided exploration of this.
Tap into the part of you that doesn't like doing massage, she said. How do you feel?
Tired, he said.
Good, she said. You're tired of reaching out to people without anyone reaching back in return. Now think about how you feel when you're going to give a massage.
Relaxed, he said.
Really? From this side of yourself that doesn't like massage. How do you really feel?
Secure, he said.
It's a transaction, she said. Do you really feel comfortable?
When it was time to close the workshop, Teal said, "Be willing to go to those places that cause you pain because..."
I can't remember the reason.